“I’m stressed.” “I feel so much pressure.” “My neck and shoulders hurt.”
“There’s too much to do.”
“I can’t rest until I’ve finished it.”
“I don’t know why it still haunts me—it happened years ago.”
“It’s too late now; he’s gone. There’s nothing I can do about it.”
“I’ve never told her…”
“I used to freeze, unable to…”
As the year comes to a close, or as we approach milestones like anniversaries or deadlines, we often feel time accelerating. These moments bring a sense of urgency, accompanied by dissatisfaction when life doesn’t seem as complete or perfect as we had hoped.
This experience often arises from what psychologists call “unfinished business,” closely tied to the Zeigarnik effect. This principle, identified by psychologist Bluma Zeigarnik, reveals our mind’s natural drive to complete unresolved tasks or experiences—what Gestalt therapy terms gestalts. When something remains incomplete, it tugs at our attention, draining our energy and disrupting our peace of mind.
I liken it to sitting in a beautifully decorated living room, sipping a cup of coffee. The scene is perfect, except for a cold draft coming from a door left ajar. No matter how wonderful the coffee or the surroundings, the chill keeps you from fully enjoying the moment.
Unresolved issues, whether a conversation left unsaid, a regret from long ago, or an unmet need, have a similar effect. We may avoid or suppress them, but deep within, a part of us continues to seek closure. These lingering matters can haunt us, surfacing unexpectedly until they are finally addressed.
In Gestalt therapy, we work to close these open gestalts, even if they’ve lingered for years. By confronting unresolved issues in the here and now, we can start the conversations we never had, meet unmet needs, and release what has been stuck inside. This process brings not only closure but also empowerment and a renewed sense of connection—to ourselves and to others.
As we near the year’s end, we often feel the weight of these drafts in our lives. Instead of rushing to perfect everything or avoiding discomfort, we can see this as an opportunity to reflect and resolve. Addressing unfinished business allows us to experience relief, satisfaction, and the freedom to move forward with clarity and renewed energy.
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Bibliography:
Charlotte Sills, Phil Lapworth, and Billy Desmond, An Introduction to Gestalt, Sage, 2012
Author: Gosia Freese on 2nd Dec 20204
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