All Out of Fight – When Relationship Meets Its Turning Point

Pink’s "All Out of Fight" could easily be the soundtrack to the moment many

couples decide to seek therapy. The song starts with the memory of when things felt alive - “We had life in our eyes… it was all green lights” - and then lands in the exhaustion of disconnection - “I’m all out of fight, my heart will always know your name.”

In couples work, this mix of longing and fatigue is familiar. Every attempt to reach the other carries two forces: the desire to connect and the fear of not being understood. That fear is not only about today, it often draws on earlier experiences when our reaching out was met with rejection, judgment, or indifference. Without realising it, we can start seeing our partner through the lens of those old hurts.

The lyric “two broken parts from the same old junkyard” captures something

essential: both partners bring their own history of struggles, scars, and resilience. Therapy becomes a space to explore how those histories interact - where they create understanding, and where they trigger conflict.

In sessions, this can mean noticing how the “devil” seems to appear in the

other - in their tone, expression, or words. From a Gestalt perspective, this “devil” is

often a projection: a piece of our past that we’ve placed on our partner. “Looking the devil in the eye” and exploring this together can be uncomfortable, but it’s also the path toward seeing each other more clearly.

Putting the swords down is the turning point. It’s when partners choose to risk honesty, vulnerability, and presence over defence and attack. In Gestalt, the aim isn’t to promise “forever” - it’s to see whether enough shared ground can be built to hold the conflicts, celebrate the joys, and weather the differences.

Sometimes couples therapy deepens the bond; sometimes it clarifies that a respectful separation is the healthiest way forward. In either case, the growth comes from the same place: the willingness to meet each other fully and authentically, even when we feel “all out of love, all out of life, all out of fight.”

If you were to pause and listen to your own relationship right now, what would the soundtrack be? Are there places where you’re still running together under “green lights,” and others where you’ve run out of fight? What would it be like to put the swords down, to look your partner in the eye, and to meet them, not as the person who hurt you in the past, but as they are here and now? In Gestalt couples therapy, that’s where the real possibilities for change and recovering choice begin.

Author: Aneta Gawin

August 2025